On downfalls.

I think one of the downfalls to having been through some shit is that you're never completely sure how something will affect you. Sometimes, a traumatic experience leaves you with the perspective to face down an otherwise rough situation with an unusual steadiness and perspective. Sometimes, something as innocuous as a song or a look on someone's face is enough to send you spiraling.

I watched a video today of a soldier coming home to surprise his son, and something stabbed at my chest as I saw the young boy run to his father's arms. Even now, the thought of it is prickling at the back of my eyes.

But why? My father was no soldier, no hero. We never were very close, despite what I am certain were his best efforts. I never really did anything he could watch and be proud of. He loved me, and I loved him, and we left it at that.

And yet, if I were to turn around right now to see him standing on the sidewalk, would I cry? Would wracking sobs spill from my lips as I, half-blind from tears, ran to his embrace?

I would. I know I would.