On singing backup.

I don't really know why, but I've always loved singing backup.  I remember my brother ragging on me for holding the sustained note in "Twist and Shout" in Beatles singalongs on car trips.  Keep in mind, of course, that I'm no singer.  I think the most honest appraisal of my vocal aptitude was my ex telling me that I wasn't terrible, and I think she was being kind.  Not that it really stops me; I just try to do other people the favor of not having to endure it that often.  But that's not really the point here - the point is, something about singing harmonies always appealed to me.  Going for the less obvious line, adding to the situation from a different angle rather than share the spotlight.

And looking back, that's just the kind of guy I am.  When I'm around other people, I tend to echo and amplify rather than show my true colors.  I build on material that's there, refine ideas, fill in the gaps.  I'd rather listen to other people's stories than talk about what's going on in my own life.  I prefer opening to closing because I'd rather set things up for others to knock them down.

It goes against so much of what I've been told growing up - that I need to be my own man, that I need to forge my own path, take the reins and mold the world in my own image.  But what if that's not what I'm designed to do?  What if I'm here to find good people in this world and make them better?  Make parties more fun, make recipes more delicious, make teams more efficient?  Is that really such a terrible lot in life?

Of course this tack has its pitfalls.  I'm terrible at taking the initiative.  I'm awkward and uncertain when other people don't take the lead.  My relationships fall apart because I'd rather be adaptable and supportive than forceful and decisive.  I'm certain it's led to well-concealed self-esteem issues that will fester into full-blown psychosis that'll manifest at my kid's piano recital.  But it's who I am, and so few people ever get to know that satisfaction.

I try to unify.  I try to bring out the best in others.  I realize my own potential by trying to help my friends realize theirs.  And if that's not living my life right, then maybe I don't really care.  I'll keep singing backup and fade into the background.  And I'll take satisfaction in knowing that I left things a little better than when I arrived.

Y'know.  Hopefully.