Day 13. Post a photo of yourself from before age 10. Write about what you remember of the day the photo was taken. It may not be a full story - it may just be flashes of event and emotion - but tap into the child you were as much as you can.
First grade. Gifted and Talented program, one of two in my class. I like it. Gets me away from everyone else. Gives me projects to work on. Growing potatoes in jars. Making rock candy out of sugar water. Making my own graduated cylinder. I get to be alone.
I don't fit in. I look different. I wear glasses. I'm small. I wear my brothers' shirts. My brothers' pants. They push me around, like my brothers do. But it's different. They don't stop.
It's better here in the library. It's quiet here. They leave me alone. I can read. I can research. I can write my stories. I can take my time. Be precise. Not like out there.
I'd rather be ignored. I just want to think about my stories. Do my work. Play with stuff.
I am alone.
I like it.
First grade. Gifted and Talented program, one of two in my class. I like it. Gets me away from everyone else. Gives me projects to work on. Growing potatoes in jars. Making rock candy out of sugar water. Making my own graduated cylinder. I get to be alone.
I don't fit in. I look different. I wear glasses. I'm small. I wear my brothers' shirts. My brothers' pants. They push me around, like my brothers do. But it's different. They don't stop.
It's better here in the library. It's quiet here. They leave me alone. I can read. I can research. I can write my stories. I can take my time. Be precise. Not like out there.
I'd rather be ignored. I just want to think about my stories. Do my work. Play with stuff.
I am alone.
I like it.
Love the simplicity and power of your words here. The image rocks, too. My son often says he wishes he was invisible so he could just be left alone by people. Being very social, it is difficult for me to "get" reading your words today helps.
ReplyDeleteIt's a tricky thing, to be sure. I'm not a parent, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll be able to understand where they're coming from when it comes time.
DeleteEVEN THEN, R, you were adorable. And yes, solidarity. Kids are chumps a lot of the time and I think the shit I went through as a child has made me turn inward a little more; given me my love for time alone. So I get you, love. Trust.
ReplyDeleteLOOK AT THE SIZE OF MY HEAD
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