On a Raoul Day.

I just woke up from a three-hour nap, and I feel fucking fantastic.

I should clarify. I don't feel full of zest for life. I'm not bursting with energy, ready to take on the world. Quite the opposite, really - I'm groggy and sluggish, with a weird taste in my mouth and that full-body itch that's telling me I probably should have showered at some point today. But I'm calm and relaxed. I don't have that weird kink in my neck, and my old-man backache seems to have subsided.

For today, at long last, I am having a Raoul Day.

What is a Raoul Day, you ask? (I know you didn't; but I'm going to talk about it anyway, because suck it, it's my blog.) It is a day that fulfills the following criteria:

1. I have off from work.
2. I have off from work tomorrow, too.
3. There is no reason to leave the house.
4. There is no reason to interact with another human being.
5. Besides feeding the cats, there is no responsibility that needs to be addressed today.

At first glance, these qualifications seem fairly easy to attain, yes? But it's deceptive. In my line of work, meeting criteria 1 and 2 is not a weekly guarantee. 3 requires preparation; supplies must be acquired - paper towels, food, drink. A Raoul Day can be derailed with something as simple as running out of cranberry juice.

4 is important. Even though I've maintained several conversations over the course of today, they've all been via text message, Twitter, or Gchat. I've used my voice only to mutter nonsense to my cats or activate my Kinect. And 5 is a tricky thing to do. See, I have tons of stuff to take care of - a pile of writing to catch up on, a lawn that is hilariously out of control (seriously, it's kind of awesome at this point), appointments to make. Even cooking things I was planning to cook.

But the key element in all of this is this call and response:

"Do I really have to get that done today?"
"Fuck it."

Will I get everything I need to get done tomorrow? Probably not. The pragmatist in me is looking at the weather reports (ballsack hot) and the list of things to do (collards, broccoli, and chard? My ass) and knowing full well that I'm going to have to foist some of these responsibilities on future days off. But the crucial point in a proper Raoul Day is the security in knowing that even though I have to get shit done, I don't have to get shit done right now.

And that, my friends, is a powerful thing. It can unclench muscles you didn't know were tight. It can provide perspective you didn't know you needed. An entire day of guilt-free relaxation is incredibly difficult to find in this madcap existence - to the point where I've had to actually force myself to have them.

Know what my schedule is for the rest of the day?
1. Play Borderlands.
2. When I get hungry, eat something.
3. If I get bored, switch off to TV.
4. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I haven't had a Raoul Day in four weeks. And it'll be another week and a half before maybe I get another one. These days are to be treasured, cherished for their rejuvenating qualities. Call it a Recharge Day, a Mental Health Day, call it what you will. But if you don't already practice this beautiful ritual on the regular, give it a shot - don't change out of your PJs, forget where you left your keys. Because this shit is the tits.